Living in the moment is all about living like there's no tomorrow. There's a composer talking about his work life and he says: You always thought "at the moment" was the only correct way to say what? I'm liking UD more every day. Don't say 'I'm very busy in the moment' or 'I'm very busy in this moment'.
For example, "He's asleep at the moment". David Schwartz 9, 2 28 Thank you, this was precise. But is it as common in American english as in British english? Sign up or log in Sign up using Google. Sign up using Facebook. Mindfulness is at the root of Buddhism , Taoism, and many Native-American traditions, not to mention yoga. It's why Thoreau went to Walden Pond; it's what Emerson and Whitman wrote about in their essays and poems.
Living in the moment involves a profound paradox: You can't pursue it for its benefits. That's because the expectation of reward launches a future-oriented mindset, which subverts the entire process. Instead, you just have to trust that the rewards will come. There are many paths to mindfulness—and at the core of each is a paradox. Ironically, letting go of what you want is the only way to get it.
Here are a few tricks to help you along. I've never felt comfortable on a dance floor. My movements feel awkward. I feel like people are judging me. I never know what to do with my arms. I want to let go, but I can't, because I know I look ridiculous. The dance world has a term for people like me: We spent the rest of the class doing "isolations"—moving just our shoulders, ribs, or hips—to build "body awareness.
But even more important than body awareness, Hayden said, was present-moment awareness. That's the first paradox of living in the moment: Thinking too hard about what you're doing actually makes you do worse. If you're in a situation that makes you anxious—giving a speech, introducing yourself to a stranger, dancing—focusing on your anxiety tends to heighten it. Indeed, mindfulness blurs the line between self and other, explains Michael Kernis, a psychologist at the University of Georgia.
By reducing self-consciousness, mindfulness allows you to witness the passing drama of feelings, social pressures, even of being esteemed or disparaged by others without taking their evaluations personally, explain Richard Ryan and K. Brown of the University of Rochester. When you focus on your immediate experience without attaching it to your self-esteem, unpleasant events like social rejection—or your so-called friends making fun of your dancing—seem less threatening. Focusing on the present moment also forces you to stop overthinking.
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Instead of getting stuck in your head and worrying, you can let yourself go. In her memoir Eat, Pray, Love , Elizabeth Gilbert writes about a friend who, whenever she sees a beautiful place, exclaims in a near panic, "It's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday! Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what's happening right now.
In This Moment
We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week. Instead, relish or luxuriate in whatever you're doing at the present moment—what psychologists call savoring. You could be savoring a success or savoring music," explains Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Riverside and author of The How of Happiness.
When subjects in a study took a few minutes each day to actively savor something they usually hurried through—eating a meal, drinking a cup of tea, walking to the bus—they began experiencing more joy, happiness, and other positive emotions, and fewer depressive symptoms, Schueller found. Why does living in the moment make people happier—not just at the moment they're tasting molten chocolate pooling on their tongue, but lastingly?
Because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. As Mark Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Worry, by its very nature , means thinking about the future—and if you hoist yourself into awareness of the present moment, worrying melts away. The flip side of worrying is ruminating, thinking bleakly about events in the past. And again, if you press your focus into the now, rumination ceases. Savoring forces you into the present, so you can't worry about things that aren't there. Living consciously with alert interest has a powerful effect on interpersonal life.
Mindfulness actually inoculates people against aggressive impulses, say Whitney Heppner and Michael Kernis of the University of Georgia.
In a study they conducted, each subject was told that other subjects were forming a group—and taking a vote on whether she could join. Five minutes later, the experimenter announced the results—either the subject had gotten the least number of votes and been rejected or she'd been accepted. Beforehand, half the subjects had undergone a mindfulness exercise in which each slowly ate a raisin, savoring its taste and texture and focusing on each sensation.
Later, in what they thought was a separate experiment, subjects had the opportunity to deliver a painful blast of noise to another person. Among subjects who hadn't eaten the raisin, those who were told they'd been rejected by the group became aggressive, inflicting long and painful sonic blasts without provocation. Stung by social rejection, they took it out on other people. But among those who'd eaten the raisin first, it didn't matter whether they'd been ostracized or embraced.
Either way, they were serene and unwilling to inflict pain on others—exactly like those who were given word of social acceptance. How does being in the moment make you less aggressive? Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you interpret and react to what's happening in your mind. It increases the gap between emotional impulse and action, allowing you to do what Buddhists call recognizing the spark before the flame.
Focusing on the present reboots your mind so you can respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger , backing down in fear , or mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to yourself, "This is the emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond? Mindfulness increases self-control ; since you're not getting thrown by threats to your self-esteem, you're better able to regulate your behavior. That's the other irony: Inhabiting your own mind more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others.
Of course, during a flare-up with your significant other it's rarely practical to duck out and savor a raisin. But there's a simple exercise you can do anywhere, anytime to induce mindfulness: As it turns out, the advice my friend got in the desert was spot-on. There's no better way to bring yourself into the present moment than to focus on your breathing. Because you're placing your awareness on what's happening right now, you propel yourself powerfully into the present moment.
For many, focusing on the breath is the preferred method of orienting themselves to the now—not because the breath has some magical property, but because it's always there with you. Perhaps the most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption psychologists call flow.
Flow occurs when you're so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything else around you. Flow embodies an apparent paradox: How can you be living in the moment if you're not even aware of the moment? The depth of engagement absorbs you powerfully, keeping attention so focused that distractions cannot penetrate.
You focus so intensely on what you're doing that you're unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass without you noticing.
Flow is an elusive state. As with romance or sleep , you can't just will yourself into it—all you can do is set the stage, creating the optimal conditions for it to occur.
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- You Are Not Your Thoughts;
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The first requirement for flow is to set a goal that's challenging but not unattainable—something you have to marshal your resources and stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level—not so difficult that you'll feel stressed, but not so easy that you'll get bored. In flow, you're firing on all cylinders to rise to a challenge. To set the stage for flow, goals need to be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. You also need to set up the task in such a way that you receive direct and immediate feedback; with your successes and failures apparent, you can seamlessly adjust your behavior.
A climber on the mountain knows immediately if his foothold is secure; a pianist knows instantly when she's played the wrong note. As your attentional focus narrows, self-consciousness evaporates.
You feel as if your awareness merges with the action you're performing. You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that although the task is difficult, action feels effortless. We all have pain in our lives, whether it's the ex we still long for, the jackhammer snarling across the street, or the sudden wave of anxiety when we get up to give a speech. If we let them, such irritants can distract us from the enjoyment of life.
Paradoxically, the obvious response—focusing on the problem in order to combat and overcome it—often makes it worse, argues Stephen Hayes, a psychologist at the University of Nevada. The mind's natural tendency when faced with pain is to attempt to avoid it—by trying to resist unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we lose a love, for instance, we fight our feelings of heartbreak.
As we get older, we work feverishly to recapture our youth. When we're sitting in the dentist's chair waiting for a painful root canal, we wish we were anywhere but there. But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can't be avoided—and resisting them only magnifies the pain. The problem is we have not just primary emotions but also secondary ones—emotions about other emotions. We get stressed out and then think, "I wish I weren't so stressed out. The secondary emotion is feeling, "I hate being stressed. It doesn't have to be this way. The solution is acceptance—letting the emotion be there.
That is, being open to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience—without judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away. The present moment can only be as it is. Trying to change it only frustrates and exhausts you. Acceptance relieves you of this needless extra suffering. Suppose you've just broken up with your girlfriend or boyfriend; you're heartbroken, overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and longing.
You could try to fight these feelings, essentially saying, "I hate feeling this way; I need to make this feeling go away. You do yourself a favor by accepting your feelings, saying instead, "I've just had a breakup.
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